Sunday, May 24, 2009

God speaks

So I have many points so hang on with me for the post.

1. I'm so glad God knows me and loves me enough to speak to me in a way I can understand. I'm such a visual person I have to see it to get it sometimes. Several weeks ago around Easter I was praying through some situations of disapointment and frustration. I just wasn't able to make sense of things going on and understand the feelings and thoughts I had. So I had faithfully prayed that God would show me what I was doing to make me feel this way and why wasn't he removing it. Then it happened- He did what only He can do and showed me. As I was backing out of the apartment, headed to church one Sunday morning this lady was pushing a stroller. I had seen the women several times before but she was kinda old and I didn't know she had kids. Well the closer I got to her, I realized she didn't have a child in the stroller. A stroller is normally something you place your most precious posection in and secure. Well this woman had another idea. She put her trash in it! Yes, you understood, she put her household trash, a couple of bags in it and was pushing it; just like a proud mother would do her child. God clearly spoke and said---"That's you!" I rememberly clearing saying outloud, WHAT? I heard over and over again, "That's you!" As I came to the stop sign I'm still following the woman as she dumps the trash in the dumpster and walks away to the mail box I am driving out of the complex. I noticed though she forgot a bag under the stroller, I wanted to roll down my window and tell her but was speechless at the same time trying to figure out how that was me. Then just like a light switch it hit me and I became overwhelmed realizing that was me. I had just seen myself clearly the way God does sometimes. I push and carry trash with me for so long and let it build up till I become attached to it and want to hold it tight and secure. I want to display it as a badge of honor instead of a badge of humlity and brokeness; after all were talking about trash! Just when I don't see clearly and can't understand why...thinking to myself I've given everything. Within some crack of me, I'm holding on and hiding something. I might not have it my visual area with my arms streched out wide to it, but nonetheless, it's there. So as I might have mentioned before I'm a slow learner. I thought about this lady, wondering why she put push her trash in a stoller, does she even have a kid, was she a Christian, on and on. So now several weeks later, I'm still thinking about this women and how she was used in my life. I'm asking God to search ever part of my life and find that trash that I might not be aware of. It's a good thing- hard but good! I think it's too cool how God knew what would make it click for me. Now I will never forget the picture in my head of that lady and try daily to replace it with myself.

Are you holding on to your trash and securing it close to you?

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