Alright- some people (I pray I'm never one of them) just always seems to ask the wrong questions. Seriously it never fails- that a woman in my church will find every prego lady that has a special glow about her and tell her that her nose is spreading---which I'm finding out happens but it's a nightmare for most women. Why would anyone do that? Or say she has gained a lot more than baby weight. WHATEVER!
She is just one person but I can think of a bunch of others that ask questions and make you go, really are you asking me this?
Moving in the house I am use to questions. I have ask a millon and wish i would have ask a thousand others (electric or gas... :)) Anyway, people are also asking me questions. Some general- where is the house? Are you excited? What are your feelings? Are you settled? Then there are some people who I seriously have to stop myself before the sinful nature in my takes over. One has really stired in my for a couple of days now. A person approached me and with the comment of, Oh I guess your settling down and giving up on God to have anything else for you. As if that wasn't enough, continues by telling me that he was suprised I would give up on getting married top by buying a house by myself. Excuse me? Well as much as you want to get married I can't believe your giving up on that too. WHAT? (Can you hear my voice go up---yes I had one then) Well if your buying a house, means your settling and satisfied were you are and don't need anyone else and not looking to get married. So I couldn't hold it in, the question came out, I said really? Not in the believing way- trust me! So then it started back and forth. With him also saying, well at least your around older people so when you don't get married you can just stay there forever. Okay- this went from chitchat to war! Don't know what I didn't but I guess I'm glad I stired up satan for him to attack me like this. So I finally made all of my points clear.
1. God is amazing and providing everything and I'm completely trusting in Him. Doors have opened and doors have closed and I'm okay now with all of them. It's been a road, but goodness who doesn't travel up and down hills. God is showing me each and everyday more of Himself and I'm completely in awe of Him. I'm not in the slightest giving up on Him- but on myself maybe realizing that I can't live or do things on my own.
2. I am very happy in my house, wouldn't change it. I understand and fully believe without any questions what an amazing God thing it was. I'm getting settled in my house but not settling in life to not change any and everything.
3. Finally, my point about marriage which I have shared many times. I right now don't have time for a relationship. Not because of work or anything but because I'm not where I need to be. I don't have time to focus on someone else in that way but instead continue to let God clean and pruify and prepare me. I have no doubt that when I'm ready God will provide and bless me with the Godly man and leader that I so desire. Until then I'm trusting, not giving up, not- not believing.
You might be asking why are you sharing all of this? Well truth is I had to get it off my chest. I let it eat me alive for too long without putting it out there. I started doubting myself and letting Satan have a moment's thoughts. I need your prayers please. I don't want to be beyond questions at all. In fact, I like questions and to be challenged and made think about things that sometimes we just fly through. I don't have a problem with that at all. Maybe that is what this person was trying to do. I don't know and maybe need to ask. However, I desire God to continue change things within me. I don't want to be on this journey alone without you or Him. So please pray about what ways you can assist and pray that these will continue to be works not only that I say but that I continue to live and breath.