Tuesday, September 30, 2008

beauty from ashes



Isaiah 61
The Year of the LORD's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.



This weekend, Dayspring had a women's retreat that I truthfully wasn't planning on attending. God had other plans, and just a few days before the event it worked out for me to be able to go. God was there! It was a very very difficult time for me with so much going on. I had so many different thoughts running through my head and really wish I could have been freed from before the time it started. I'm thankful for the time away and the words that were shared. I'm still praying through some of the things God started in my heart even before this weekend. I desire freedom, I desire to be open, I desire to peace, I desire to be beautiful, I desire to be sweet fragrance but I pray I'm getting closer. My heart's desire is hopefully in the right place.

Friday, September 26, 2008

What a day!

Yesterday, was just flat one of those days that your glad happened at the end of the week because you just might call in sick the rest if not. It was a very bad day! I am completely overwhlemed and really seeking God on how to handle all of it. Anyway, I'm excited about God's timing. Dayspring is having a women's retreat this weekend and hopefully it will work out for me to go today early from work. I am praying though that I have the right attititude about it as well.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Cozy Part 2


I love Sunday afternoon naps......they are priceless to me! Even more so today, as I got home this morning at 4:30 from keeping the kids. After a quick nap, I went to church very late at 7am to setup for the service, with problems of course. The computer once again was moved and not wanting to work well. I finally got it up, with no time remaining. I think I would have been a little quicker if I had sleep but I was not moving as fast as normal.

However, I quickly came home and dove in my bed with my cell phones OFF. (Yes, you can believe it, I know it never happens but it did today.) I was so cozy with the pillows all around me, the most comfy sleeping clothes I have, the air down cold, the curtains closed, I was COZY! I am guessing too cozy, as I slept most of the day! But I needed it. Now I am cleaning house, washing clothes, fixing meals for this week (I'm on the not eating out plan, even for lunch) and getting ready to go back to bed.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Cozy

Alright like many other people right now I'm on the couch. However, I'm not watching loud football, I'm cozy reading and just being lazy. It's pretty much been my day. I had such a nice relaxing morning, and then went shopping with Jennifer. We power shopped and had a great time and found a lot of pretty things. I love fall clothes! They make me very very happy! I came home and feel alseep about 4:30 all cozy and only woke up b/c my mom called about 6:30. I slept so hard and was out of it when I woke up. Didn't feel like fixing anything for dinner so I ran to Subway and then came back and was about to get a shower and go back to bed. Doug called as I was finishing my sandwhich and ask if I could come to his house for a few hours while he had to run to work. Of course I am not going to turn down a chance to see my babies. So as I walked in, Doug said he already put them to bed, I hear tiny footsteps of Emma coming around the corner. Ha Ha-- She said she heard my voice and had to love me!!! I can't wait to have my own kids, but until then I am so glad I have friends that share. She got upset when she found out daddy was going to leave, after all mom is out of town already. However, we settled down quickly as she took my hand and we talked to her bedroom. She said it was bed time and I could get cozy with her as it was raining, she said she would make sure I wasn't scared. :) I love this child. Doug came back in right before he was leaving and found us both in her twin size bed. I'm sure that was a sight. Doug ask Emma if she was okay, and she responded so sweetly, and said "Of course Daddy, Tiffy is here and we're cozy" At that moment I was complete. The entire day has been a comfortable day! I haven't been on call, gone to the office, or thought about work. I'm thankful for this cozy day!

Monday, September 15, 2008

God, please mold me!


This morning, I'm very thankful that I rose early and was able to find peace for today in Him. I'm thankful that even as difficult as it is today to keep my mouth SHUT, I know that I can sing this to myself as I reminder that even today is held in God's hands. I'm thankful that I can relate to the pottery. After taking a class in it just once, I have such a great respect as it's a lot of work. Your hands have to be kept firmly on the clay, or it will tilt, woble, even with that firm connection, the clay can have airbubbles that could cause the same thing. With that being said, I'm thankful that God's hands are firmly wrapped around me, molding me into something of only His design. Right now, I think He is just having to get all the air bubbles out of me so I can stand firm in Him with a core foundation built in His trust. I'm thankful for today! Please pray that I remeber God's hands are around me, even if it is one around my shoulder and one over my mouth that is fine too!

"The Pottery's Hand" by Darlene Zschech

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour

I know for sure, all of my days are held in your hands,

crafted into your perfect plan

You gently call me into your presence

guiding me by Your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself

Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me

I give my life to the Potter's hand

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me

I give my life to the Potter's hand

You gentlly call me into your presence

Guidin me by your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear lord to live through your eyes

I'm captured by you holy calling

Set me apart, I know your drawing me to yourself

Lead me Lord I pray

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Full of Emotions



This week has been full of emotions and they all rank at different levels at different times. Today has been the mountain top of it, and hopefully it's down hill from here. I'm finally off call, I went to my parents to help them lastnight clean up from the water, and had a good nights sleep. I was still very exhausted, I woke up to a relaxed morning with getting my hair cut and highlighted along with a massage. It was nice, but then it was the rat chase trying to get back home, cleaned up for a wedding shower. I didn't make it to that, my dad fell so there was this scared emotion b/c he had blood everywhere- he is very blessed and okay. He is cut up pretty bad but mom is taking really good care of him. So, I left there house only to drive back to town for a memorial service. Ressa's mom passed away Thursday afternoon and as sad as I am for there family, and even as many tears as I've cried, it's awesome to know that she is now dancing with Jesus: so with that it made me a little jealous. Then I got sweet love from friends as meet them for dinner. I was overwhelmed by the kids love for me, it was so sweet! Then tonight was cool as I got to see and spend some time with friends and former co-workers that have moved to follow God's calling. They have been blessed with two beautiful daughters! So as you can see there were a range of emotions just today! However the week has been full of them. Hopefully soon things will be balanced out a little more.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Keep Singing

"Keep Singing"
Another rainy day I can't recall having sunshine on my face All I feel is pain All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

Sunday, September 7, 2008

What if. . . ..

video

What if things were different? What if people lived and trusted fully in Him? How would Mobile be different? What if people didn't live in fear, bad habits, worry, or circumstances? How would your life be different? How would my life be different? What would I be doing each day that I don't do today? Our God saves! Our God saves----there is HOPE in His Name. Mourning turns to songs of praise, when things are different.

I want to live a different life! Do you? What if we seeked Christ first and lived only through Him?

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Complete Day



Call me crazy---I would agree! Today has been a wonderful day, even though I'm on call again I feel so loved. Today is Doug's birthday and while I was cleaning house this morning he called and ask if I could play with Ava, while they went on the boat. Of course- I jumped on the chance. I love his precious children and since I don't have any of my own, I enjoy every chance I can to spoil others. I'm so thankful for them and then also the Mike and Brandy's kids. Anyway so I headed over here around 11:00 and then became

"Mom" Once Ave woke up from her nap, we went and got Jennifer, had lunch at Atlanta Bread, and then went to Wal-Mart. Then it was back to the house for nap time. I guess it is the need that I enjoy: I know she is depending on me. As she slept on my chest I was overwhelmed with emotions. I long for the day that I will be married and have children of my own. I am praying for friends as several are currently expecting. Another friend, I'm trusting God that He provides her with great peace as she desires to have another baby and she seeks His perfect timing and miracle. I know our God is faithful and I don't take lightly that His timing is perfect. So again tonight as I gained Kyle and Emma while they went to dinner I continued the roles of a mother: dinner, baths, brushing teeth, bedtime stories and prayers, and goodnight kisses. After putting the older two to bed, I got Ava out of her swing and bathed her, and then was feeding her a bottle as I was once again overwhelmed with emotions. I don't know why and I've tried to figure it out but there has been a special peace and cleansing feeling that came with those tears. I feel refreshed by there love and need for me. I can't wait till the day I become a mother. Tonight I have just wanted to watch them sleep and love them more and more. I can't wait to be a partent. I know it's a hundred times different and God cares more than any parent ever could but I'm amazed tonight to think about how God wants to watch me sleep and rest in Him. He just wants me to embrace and need and trust Him to provide for me. I'm so thankful that I can rest in Him tonight knowing that just as Ava counts on me, I can count on me the only differnce is that I won't always be there for Ava and I'll makes mistakes and let her down even as much as I lvoe her b ut my Heavenly Father will never let me down. PRAISE God!

Friday, September 5, 2008

I can't fix it


Alright me and my personality aren't getting along today. I realized how much of a fix it person I am and I can't stand to have a problem that there is nothing I can do. That's were I'm resting tonight. I am resting knowing that there is nothing I can do, except pray and trust that God that can do anything! I can't fix or change a lot of things in my life right now. I can't fix or make things whole for a friend of mine who is gathering with family to celebrate the last days of there mother. There isn't a fix! I can't fix other freinds struggles, hurts, and challenges: I haven't been there in some of those situations that they are dealing with. Yet, my heart hurts for them as I lift them up in prayer. On one hand I so desire to have my hands in the midst of what is going on but I realize that this hand's aren't made for that but to praise the Holy One who can. So with that being said---I'm trying to leave my tools as unequiped as I am behind and watch the Master at work. Please join me in prayer for the many of friends right now that are heartbroken and hurting.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Undone




As many of you know the past several days have been very challenging. God has held my hand, and I know isn't going to let me go. I'm very thankful that the storm didn't come here, mom and dad in MS got water in the back house but were fine as it went out quickly. I am praying for those that are away, traveling, those that lost homes, those that feel there is no hope, and those that have a long road ahead as they pick up the pieces and get live together.
I did report to work last night at 8pm and got home this afternoon. I'm trusting God, as still so much is ahead. I'm very thankful for the friends/family I have in my life. Many of which I realized I don't have pictures of, which will quickly change---(Get ready!) During this past week, I have recieved countless calls, text messages, and emails--Thank you! God has used you in ways you will never know. Life is hard, and it's not meant to be lived alone, and thanks to you I don't. Keep praying! I love ya'll. Thanks for pointing me to the cross
Undone
No apologiesFor who I'm meant to be The only thing that matters isI am free
When I am overwhelmed Holding pieces of my heart When I feel my world Start to fall apart
To the cross I run Holding high my chains undone
Now I am finally free Free to be what I've become Undone
Even in defeat The face of tragedy Still you'd have to say thatI found victory
In brokenness comes beauty Divine fragility Reminding
me of nail scarred hands Reaching out for me
To the cross I run Holding high my chains undone
Now I am finally free Free to be what I've become
To the cross I run Holding high my chains undone ]
Now I am finally free Free to be what I've become Undone
Hallelujah I'm undone!
To the cross I run Holding high my chains undone
Now I am finally free Free to be what I've become
To the cross I run Holding high my chains undone
Now I am finally free Free to be what I've become Undone
To the cross I run To be what I've become And I'm undone