Sunday, November 15, 2009

Women's Retreat















1. God is who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God's Word is alive and active in me.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Guess who was chosen? CC was one of a number of Mobile companies were named to the Inc. 5000 list of rapidly growing businesses released this week. Guess this shows a a few of the reasons, I'm so far behind on the blogging world and everything else. I'm a little busy with work. Excited for different reason over the next couple of weeks as my position within the company will be changing some to allow me to work with people more and build the relationships that is needed. Please continue to pray for the company, leadership, my position and part in the team. Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say Rejoice! Trusting in not my plans, but His! As always I need your help!

9-11

I guess I have been in the reflecting mood as I continue thinking back and seeing where we have been and yet am now. Sometimes it makes me proud and then other times I just hang my head in shame as we could have done more. I could have done more.


Anyway, another time to remember has occured this past week. 9-11.


It was intresting to see on friends facebook as they ask do you remember what you were doing when you heard the news? YES! It was my senior year of high school, I was an aid in Mrs. Baxter's computer editing class. We were watching channel one news when it happened and they made the annoucment. My first though- MY BROTHER IS FLYING TO NEW YORK THIS MORNING~~ I immedatly ran out of class in her office and was trying to get my brother and couldn't. I tried my mom and couldn't reach her either. Even as I type this, I have the emotions running through me. After calling for what seemed like a million times, I had to go to another class. They called me out of the class into her office, my mind thinking the worse as I ran there. It was my mom crying saying everything was okay. Donny didn't go! He cancelled the trip late lastnight as he wasn't feeling well. He was suppost to be in the buildings for a meeting! But he is alive and okay in Jacksonville! I was so thankful to hear those words, but yet had to hear his voice for myself. So I kept trying to call him- let's just say everyone in the family and his coworkers were trying to call him b/c they knew where he was suppost to be. However, God had other plans, I was thankful for that time we talked more so than ever before. I think my sister hugged him tighter for all of us that night as she in Jacksonville with him. Oh the memories! God also had it planned for me to do a mission trip that Decemeber, in New York. The sweet memories of that trip, as we prayed with the families at the memorial. Meet with the fireteams and on and on.




Here are a few pictures I took last August of Ground Zero.




Now I have a dear friend Steve, who celebrates his birthday on 9-11. This year though not only has he always severed many as he was my youth minister at FBC Moss Point. He now serves again in the Amy and this year he celebrated his birthday in Iraq. Praying for you Steve! I'm so thankful for the men and women that fight for our freedom.

Katrina


The house next door to my parents during the storm.




Our backyard and gazbo during the storm.




Me and a sweet lady, after the storm. She hung on during the storm to the train after she road out of her house in the refrigarator.
Memories of August 2005! Seems like yesterday but then again so long ago. I'm thinking how the time has past and the healing that has given. Family are rebuilding. You can still see the damage as you drive through the coast and even down my street. However, people are different and they will always remember. Everyone has memeories of this storm. You have images you picture, smells you remember, feelings sometimes you still might feel. Some remember and are still dealing with it more than others. I'm thankful of the time and healing that has past and looking forward to seeing the future as it continues to rebuild.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Glory Revealed


It's not a hidden fact I don't like to wait and well I've done a lot of it over the past two years, but I'm so glad I'm seeing God's hand work throught it. Wednesday night I was able to go to Glory Revealed and had an awesome time of fellowship and worship. The service was wonderful!!If you haven't heard of Glory Reaveled, check out there website, www.gloryrevealed.com. It's the word of God put as worship songs to make it easy to learn, site and worship through. It's been a huge part of my life as this is there second CD, and I've almost memorized all of the scriptures on the CD's. Anyway, Great things are yet to come and I'm super excited about DNO.





Tuesday, July 28, 2009

So excited


WooHoo---- Can I tell you how excited I along with a thousand other people are within Mobile? You might be wondering why? Well I'm giving God all the glory for everything He has done. Over the past 17 months, Dayspring has been without a Senior Pastor. We have had many ups and downs, and through it all I have trusted that God is the God of all and greater things are yet to come. With that being said, let me add that there were times I wanted to throw in the towel. I wanted to run just like many others who did. However God never released me or moved me. So guess what that means, God moves. And He is doing just that. Dayspring has announced the potential pastor of Brett Burlson. He is here this week and preaching Sunday and I'm so excited. God is about to do something so big! I pray that God moves, and moves the people that are standing in the way. Greater things are yet to come for Mobile.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Can't stop laughing


Alright friends I don't know if you have heard or not but there is a new show starting this week called, MORE TO LOVE. Yeah you guessed it, it's same concept as the Bachlor but it's based for "real women" like myself. Ha Ha :) Yeah so I had a friend suggest it to me, WHATEVER! I couldn't believe it- yeah I'm a real woman with a lot more to love---but I don't think i want to go on national television to share or show it. Anyway, it just was the icing on the cake for the past two weeks and I have laughed so much.
So let me tell you about it, I'm not going ot metion names or place of employment b/c you'll be able to get the story. So two weeks ago I had a schedule appointment to get an price quote for a new requirement for the house. So a guy came and then his supervisor came. First let me say it was a very stressful day, we had an outage at work and I was completely worn out and out of it. so anyway this guy gets here and let's just say I thought he was cute from the time he got out of the truck door. Well he came give me the quote and then ended up talking for a while outside we shared about our employement (after all the blackberry was going off like crazy) and I kept saying how i had to get back to work. Well he made the comment/question, You really don't want to go back to work do you, you rather go to dinner with me? HELLO, can you please repeat that? I was intrested and not trying to play hard to get but really had to go back to the office to make sure everything was good and close a lot of tickets through the day. So he ask if he could call later, my response was sure why not. I didn't think he would call but he did. we set up a time to meet a couple of days later b/c I had family coming in town. It was pretty funny, as I grabbed dinner that night I saw friend Tom and Linda. We were just chatting for a few minutes when Tom said how i needed a man. Thanks Tom! I wasn't going disagreebut shared with them about this and Tom big brother role and ask, he is a christan right? He isn't married or have kids right? Yes, no, no! Well when I got home that night I had a request on facebook and it was him. So wow- he took the time to look me up. So anyway, with the request was a message. I have to admit I was very very excited! I opened the message and my jaw dropped, the message and I quote, "So here it is and now you know . . . . I'm married." WHAT? Are you serious? Anyway so needless to say we didn't meet. :)
I share that story to say how proud I am that my heart belongs to Christ and He is the only true friend and man in my life. Yes I still desire a relationship but am so glad I'm not where I was a few years ago. I live to be married and have a family. Yes, that is still my desire but I live for Christ and His purpose. It is because of Him I have more to love with others-- My love isn't complete but His is. He gives more love us every day.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Giving up on Perfect


So I'm slow and behind! I know it and I'm sorry. I'm giving up on being perfect! I'm realizing that I'm different and it's okay. I'm human and make mistakes- it's okay. I'm going to fail and let you down- it's okay. It happens and I'm a sinner. I'm not giving up on trying to be perfect and with that I mean like Christ. However, I am giving up on filling others ideas of what "perfect" is in there mind. It doesn't work! It won't satisfy them. Always more. Always something else. Always not good enough. However, I'm giving up on that and giving it to God. I'm doing the summer study online through Beth Moore's blog, "Me, Myself and Lies" It's amazing the lies we tell ourself over and over again and then believe them. Wow-God's got a major project in mine but that's okay because He isn't giving up on me! He's written His name on my life---now I just got to continue living like it for Him, not others. So thankful for the way God has worked through the Godly women in my life that give me the tough love sometimes and make me realize and think about things that are so right in front of me.
So let's catch up on the past month---
Spend a good bit of time at my parents, between Mother's Day, Father's Day, my sister coming in town and then next weekend my aunt Lisa and Uncle Mike are coming in town from OK. It was great seeing my sister! She looks amazing! She flew in Thursday, July 2, and then we had lunch and then I had to go back to work, so she spend some time with my parents and then I went over Friday night late after work and then July 4- we just really hung out and slept. I was on call and so it was stressful trying to work between family and the attached blackberry but we made it. Kristi came back with me and spend the night in my house which was fun- we went to the lake and even played in the park! She had to fly out Sunday moring at 5, so fun fun!
Robin flew in town the week before that and was able to stay with me which I enjoyed as well. I was sadden by the circumstances she had to come, her best friends mother passed away, however I was glad she was here and I was able to spend some time with her.
I am hopeing to get to go to Jackson and Brookhaven soon to see my friends there.
Church- They have finally annoounced we "have" a new pastor. His information is being presented at the end of the month, and then he will be preaching in view of a call Aug 2. Hopefully, this man is more thatn just a wonderful man and great person but a Christ filled, God driven, Word of God teaching man. We need a man that stands firm in the word of God and isn't swayed by others. I trust God has someone like that for us and I pray this is in fact the man God has for us.
Work- Another tabled turned. So we are starting on a new leaf. For the past couple of weeks I've been working closely with our new customer support manager, Richard Garcia. He is in fact wonderful and a Godly man that I hope continues to fight the good fight and take us to the next level. We've lost a couple of other employees which has made it more difficult, (that says it mild). I've worked everyday from 6/6:30 am- till whenever- at the office till 8:30/11pm. It's been overwhelming but it's part of me realizing who I really am and what my purpose is.
Personally- The house is wonderful! I haven't been home like I would like to, and I need to do the things in it that I desire to fix up. However, I know the time is coming. It's just a few little things- hang the curtains in the study, get the new light up in the entrance, fix up the guest bedroom, clean the garage and get it painted, and finish the deck. Plus I'm really wanting to get into a routine- getting up, doing quite time, working out, getting ready for work and then working to come home and cook and have sometime to myself and going to bed. Right now, it's getting up, jumping in the shower, running to work with rollers in my hair and putting makeup on while I stop and the 8 red lights and then working and grabbing dinner on the way home or just saying forget it and getting in the bed as soon as I get home. :) I'm worn out, can you tell? I did take a couple of hours two days for myself two weeks ago. David Nasser was doing Student Life camp in Orange Beach and so I went and meet him and his family Tuesday night and then again Saturday night. So thankful for that time!
I think that able covers the past month- work, on call, church, work, work, on call, run to Moss Point, church! :)
Hopefully again, it won't be another month for a post. It's seems like I do most of my writtings while babysitting Doug's kids. Yes, I forgotten to mention I do still find time to do that. I got to get my baby love some way. Today, I had Ava from 10-5 and then Kyle and Emma from 5- until they get home. It's been a great day, and more and more I desire to be a mom, however, have no worries about it b/c I've turned it over to God and truthfully can say that I trust in His time and haven't worried about it. Aren't you proud of me? Anyway- I love the "One more hug Tiffy"
Anyways- until another day . . . .

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Wake up call


Wake up call has come- better late than never! No, I'm not talking about within a hotel room, I'm talking about a life wake up call. Below you see a picture of my friend Miranda and I. Yes this is a couple of years old, I know I don't look like that anymore and that's part of the problem too. I got a phone call Thursday night while walking through Home Depot from Miranda's dad. Miranda had a stroke, and he was calling to tell me about it. HELLO! She is 23 years old and I'm 25. Miranda and I were very close when I lived at home but since I moved over here we haven't kept in contact like we should. Anyway, I was speechless as he was telling about how she at first for couldn't move the left side of her body for two days and on and on. What had happened? She had complained about headaches and been to the ER twice for them but they gave her medicine and sent her home. Then she woke up Sunday morning and couldn't move- just like that! Thankfully David was sharing with me how it was such a God thing b/c she was recovering and they thought she was going to be okay. He wanted me to know so I could be be praying for her recovery but also that she would take care of herself. Then he added the dreeded words, like you need to do too! Thanks David, I know they were said in love!

Can I share my thoughts?

Personally, I see how life is so short. I've been to way to many funerals to count for people not my grandparents age but my age. I've been in the ICU holding a friend's hand praying they wouldn't give up and keep fighting to live. I see it, hear it and try to deal with it. However, once again God sends me a wake up call b/c I lost focus on things that matter. I haven't taken care of myself as the temple God created me to be. I'm not losing the weight I need to or working out. I'm not sleeping at night. I'm not saying no to things to spend time for myself. I'm having to get two steroid shots in a week, b/c my body can't fight off the infection on its own. HELLO! What am I thinking? Why can't I just do right and take care of myself. Anyway, I'm starting off again saying Great things are yet to come and I'm gonna change it. I want to live and run through life being everything God wants me to be. I want Him to be glofied in me as his Temple and it's time to live that way.
So are you with me? Are you taking care of yourself? Join with me and let's do this together.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

So--questions???

Alright- some people (I pray I'm never one of them) just always seems to ask the wrong questions. Seriously it never fails- that a woman in my church will find every prego lady that has a special glow about her and tell her that her nose is spreading---which I'm finding out happens but it's a nightmare for most women. Why would anyone do that? Or say she has gained a lot more than baby weight. WHATEVER!

She is just one person but I can think of a bunch of others that ask questions and make you go, really are you asking me this?

Moving in the house I am use to questions. I have ask a millon and wish i would have ask a thousand others (electric or gas... :)) Anyway, people are also asking me questions. Some general- where is the house? Are you excited? What are your feelings? Are you settled? Then there are some people who I seriously have to stop myself before the sinful nature in my takes over. One has really stired in my for a couple of days now. A person approached me and with the comment of, Oh I guess your settling down and giving up on God to have anything else for you. As if that wasn't enough, continues by telling me that he was suprised I would give up on getting married top by buying a house by myself. Excuse me? Well as much as you want to get married I can't believe your giving up on that too. WHAT? (Can you hear my voice go up---yes I had one then) Well if your buying a house, means your settling and satisfied were you are and don't need anyone else and not looking to get married. So I couldn't hold it in, the question came out, I said really? Not in the believing way- trust me! So then it started back and forth. With him also saying, well at least your around older people so when you don't get married you can just stay there forever. Okay- this went from chitchat to war! Don't know what I didn't but I guess I'm glad I stired up satan for him to attack me like this. So I finally made all of my points clear.
1. God is amazing and providing everything and I'm completely trusting in Him. Doors have opened and doors have closed and I'm okay now with all of them. It's been a road, but goodness who doesn't travel up and down hills. God is showing me each and everyday more of Himself and I'm completely in awe of Him. I'm not in the slightest giving up on Him- but on myself maybe realizing that I can't live or do things on my own.
2. I am very happy in my house, wouldn't change it. I understand and fully believe without any questions what an amazing God thing it was. I'm getting settled in my house but not settling in life to not change any and everything.
3. Finally, my point about marriage which I have shared many times. I right now don't have time for a relationship. Not because of work or anything but because I'm not where I need to be. I don't have time to focus on someone else in that way but instead continue to let God clean and pruify and prepare me. I have no doubt that when I'm ready God will provide and bless me with the Godly man and leader that I so desire. Until then I'm trusting, not giving up, not- not believing.

You might be asking why are you sharing all of this? Well truth is I had to get it off my chest. I let it eat me alive for too long without putting it out there. I started doubting myself and letting Satan have a moment's thoughts. I need your prayers please. I don't want to be beyond questions at all. In fact, I like questions and to be challenged and made think about things that sometimes we just fly through. I don't have a problem with that at all. Maybe that is what this person was trying to do. I don't know and maybe need to ask. However, I desire God to continue change things within me. I don't want to be on this journey alone without you or Him. So please pray about what ways you can assist and pray that these will continue to be works not only that I say but that I continue to live and breath.

Thanks-

Sunday, May 24, 2009

God speaks

So I have many points so hang on with me for the post.

1. I'm so glad God knows me and loves me enough to speak to me in a way I can understand. I'm such a visual person I have to see it to get it sometimes. Several weeks ago around Easter I was praying through some situations of disapointment and frustration. I just wasn't able to make sense of things going on and understand the feelings and thoughts I had. So I had faithfully prayed that God would show me what I was doing to make me feel this way and why wasn't he removing it. Then it happened- He did what only He can do and showed me. As I was backing out of the apartment, headed to church one Sunday morning this lady was pushing a stroller. I had seen the women several times before but she was kinda old and I didn't know she had kids. Well the closer I got to her, I realized she didn't have a child in the stroller. A stroller is normally something you place your most precious posection in and secure. Well this woman had another idea. She put her trash in it! Yes, you understood, she put her household trash, a couple of bags in it and was pushing it; just like a proud mother would do her child. God clearly spoke and said---"That's you!" I rememberly clearing saying outloud, WHAT? I heard over and over again, "That's you!" As I came to the stop sign I'm still following the woman as she dumps the trash in the dumpster and walks away to the mail box I am driving out of the complex. I noticed though she forgot a bag under the stroller, I wanted to roll down my window and tell her but was speechless at the same time trying to figure out how that was me. Then just like a light switch it hit me and I became overwhelmed realizing that was me. I had just seen myself clearly the way God does sometimes. I push and carry trash with me for so long and let it build up till I become attached to it and want to hold it tight and secure. I want to display it as a badge of honor instead of a badge of humlity and brokeness; after all were talking about trash! Just when I don't see clearly and can't understand why...thinking to myself I've given everything. Within some crack of me, I'm holding on and hiding something. I might not have it my visual area with my arms streched out wide to it, but nonetheless, it's there. So as I might have mentioned before I'm a slow learner. I thought about this lady, wondering why she put push her trash in a stoller, does she even have a kid, was she a Christian, on and on. So now several weeks later, I'm still thinking about this women and how she was used in my life. I'm asking God to search ever part of my life and find that trash that I might not be aware of. It's a good thing- hard but good! I think it's too cool how God knew what would make it click for me. Now I will never forget the picture in my head of that lady and try daily to replace it with myself.

Are you holding on to your trash and securing it close to you?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Better hurry quick

Since May is quickly coming to an end I'm not doing much better on the blog; so I thought I better hurry quick and make a post. Wow what a crazy six weeks it has has been with the house. However less than a week ago I signed on the house and I am sitting in it now, moved in and almost settled. I love it!



I love my cross wall. Still working on some of them but this is the far side of the den befor you walk in kitchen.


Front bathroom.



View o part of the den looking into the kitchen, I love how open it is!




Kitchen with door and window going to the outside deck.




Front of the house with my garage---can I say I love being able to pull up and not have to worry unloading my car or anything.




I will be posting pictures of the other bedroom, study, back yard and then my bed and bathroom soon. Still working somethings and hanging pictures and that type of stuff but for th emost part I'm settled.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

April


I can't believe I didn't post at all in April. What a crazy thirty days it has been. I'm hoping for my personal life that the showers and storms that have been expereinced will bring the sweetness for the next thirty days. I've pretty much had all emotions for the past couple of weeks. Here are just a few of the things:
1. Work- Can I sum it up by saying OVERTIME! Not really, but as far as hours yes! Doug was out of town for two weeks, Theo for a week and half, and then Amanda is part time so there were many days it was ME! Not to mention that Robert and Michael are nolonger Callis employees. I made it but don't want to go back to those long days. There were two week that I didn't make it home before 9pm when I went at 6:30am. Some nights it was between 11pm-1am. Thankfully, hard work paid off and I made it! I didn't kill anyone, kept all customers and even made them happy! Now if I can just make myself happy while being on call. Yes, this weekend again, amazing how I started April on call, was on call the middle of April and and on again- seems to be it's every other week. Am I wrong? On another note: We are doing "The Five Dysfuntions of a Team" every Tuesday night as a company. It's been intresting to go through and very rewarding in hopes to see changes but very challenging as it gets more personal. To be continued as we get further with the book.
2. House- Okay I started looking at house b/c I totalled how much I spend in rent a year and then also since I've lived here- OH MY! Anyway, so I found one that I completely loved and have been fighting for it ever since and am now in the accepted offer stage pending inspection and apprisal. It's been an emotional, physical, mental and spiritual battle for so many reason and still is. As I am writing this now, I'm waiting for a phone call to see if they completed the items that had to be address from the inspection. Fun Fun! Anyway, to be continued. Many of you have been praying during this process- THANK YOU! Please continue and if it's not the right one, please pray that God will still shut the door. I'm at peace in Him, not the house or apartment, completely in Him. So if it falls through even now when I'm so close, I'll be alright with it. Please pray for safty for me though as I live here in the apartment. Last week, I can't explain the protection of God's hand on my life and also my friend Jennifer. Our God is Mighty to save! We had seven cars broken into and a man held at gun point at 8pm. Thankfully we had just left before it happened, and came back while the cops were here. Remember me please as I am in and out at all hours for work. I find great peace in singing God is bigger than the boogie man, even though I feel like I'm four years old! Child like faith!
3. Personal- The first weekend in April I had the privilage of going to New Orleans with my friend Elizabeth and her friend Melanie for a Beth Moore retreat. Wow- it was amazing! I'm thankful for that time to escape and be filled. I learned from 1 Thes 5:1-20 the following things: 1. The essense of holiness is wholeness.
2. I can't be a whole person without other people.
3. Wholeness releases persistant joy.
4. Wholeness relates to persistant prayer.
5. God is wholly faithful and I am found in Him!
I wish I would have taken better notes as I don't remember the different backgrounds with the spellings but none the less I am so thankful I can be found in a faithful God.
So that is a quick summary of April, I'm gonna try to do better in May. Plus I really want to to complete the post about the dump I s tarted in March. Wow, I'm behind.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Dump

Have you looked at the picture? Seriously, look at the picture? What do you see? How does it relate to your life? What is the first thing you think about with it?

I'm intrested to know if anybody is where I'm at. So many thoughts have gone through my head since I've been home from VA and goodness this is it, but it wasn't until this morning I realized it. Let me know thoughts and I'm gonna start typing out story.

Trip to VA


So I noticed today how my post have gotten few and far between. So once again, I'm gonna try to hit some of the highlights. Last weekend I was able to go see my family in VA. I flew up there Friday morning and stayed through Monday. It was a wonderful trip to see them, have a sleepover party with the girls, travel around the city, and then have mom/dad/daughter talks. Needless to say it was a wonderful time together and very much needed. I was able to go to church with them Sunday and see the exciting things God is doing there. It was so wonderful sitting there watching them interact with people and hearing them talk about the different things going on and what God has done and is doing. For the first time (still with tearfilled eyes) I'm okay with them being there. They are without a doubt right where God wants them. I miss them already and have started saving again to fly out there sooner than later.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

If only words could tell

Well I really didn't mean for this to be just a two part entry, but it will be, sorry! I got a phone call yesterday morning from my mom who was very upset and crying. I couldn't understand her but I had no clue what could have happened. She kept saying she was so sorry, so sorry! At this point, I'm thinking the worst things but trying to figure it out. Finally, she got herself together and told me that my pottery had busted. I was almost laughing because she was so upset about it. Praise got for them busting- after the things I thought, but that's beside the point. 
Anyway, the bottoms were too think and solid that it busted all over thing (can't think of the firebox that they bake them in) Both piece she said did it, and the broken pieces were everywhere and on every other piece there. She said she had already spent a couple of hours trying to get it off her other pieces but no luck. Oh well, I had fun anyway trying to make a piece, nothing I could do about it. She kept saying over and over again how sorry she was. Finally I was like Mom, it isn't that big of a deal, I'm sorry that I messed up your pieces to sale. Anyway, she explained that she thought I would be upset as I had shared about being a broken vessel. I replied without a pause and said how something would come from it and it would be okay. Well after we talked for a few more minutes I had to go b/c Ava woke up. Well as I was rocking Ava, I kept thinking about what a mess I'm sure it was to clean up. However my thoughts turned quickly, it was surely a God thing. It busted on purpose! The base was solid and thick- just like our lives are  to be with our faith- solid foundation. Our joy is to overflow into others and stick with them giving them something to think about, a glimpse of hope and love so they will keep coming back to see what makes us different. Just like my bowl busted and on all other pieces I pray that God uses me to stick on others and not be removed. So do my idea of a broken vessel still work and touch me- more than I planned. Life is short, God molds us and we live for Him. I'm being gripped in his hands how. He molds the flaws out of of me daily- YES, he is very busy! But through each day, I am thankful He does! I have something better to strive for- to be like Him. Wow-standards are high!  Let's do it together, are you being broken and sticking to others? 

Monday, March 9, 2009

Take all of me, I lay down my life



Yeah I know again, it's been forever since I've posted. So much has been going on and truthfully I'm just worn out!



The picture below explains my life the past several months - being molded. God is mending, molding, bending and breaking me! It's been a crazy ride but as long as I look more like Him, I'm okay with it. "Take all of me, I lay down my life"

Sidenote: I've checked and ask my roots don't look that bad normally. Not sure what happened.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

When God Ran

I'm so God loves me enough to run after me. God ask me everyday, "Do you know I still love you?" No matter what I do, no matter how bad my attitude is, or what happens- GOD runs to me! This past Thursday Brandy and I had the chance go to go a Philips, Craig and Dean concert. I have to be honest and say I had my doubts that we were going to get there, it took us 2.5 hours to go an hour---gotta love I-10 being closed, and then Mapquest that leads you down dark roads to a deadend! :) Anyway, we finally made it- I say that like we were late, but we really got there at 6:58 and it started at 7pm. It was a wonderful worship time and fellowship time for Brandy and I. I realized how much, you just have to escape even if it is for a couple of hours.

Sidenote: PCD might not be the newest Christian group, and yes I made jokes when we got there about them being a little bit older, however they were awesome in leading worship.



When God Ran


Almighty God, The Great I Am Immovable Rock, Omnipotent powerful Awesome Lord, Victorious Warrior Mighty Conqueror, Commanding King of Kings And the only time, the only time I ever saw Him run Was when He ran to me, Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest And said "My son's come home again". Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes With forgiveness in His voice He said "Son, do you know I still love you?" It caught me by surprise when God ran The day I left Home, I knew I'd broken His heart I wondered if Things would ever be the same, Then one night, I remembered His love for me And down that dusty road, ahead I could see It was the only time, the only time I ever saw Him run Was when He ran to me, Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest And said "My son's come home again". Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes With forgiveness in His voice He said "Son, do you know I still love you?" It caught me by surprise, It dropped me to my knees When God ran Holy God, Righteous One Who turned my way Now I know, You've been waiting For this day


Baby Jackson



This week due to the holiday I was finally able to see baby Jackson and his wonderful parents. He has to be the most perfect baby. He was so sweet and it was awesome to see Hampton and Lindsey with him. I'm so excited for them and this wonderful journey they are now on. Here is a sweet picture of the family! Sadly I didn't think about having a picture made with Jackson and his aunt Tiffy- always next time though!

Uncle Phil's

Dayspring held Uncle Phil's Diner to raise money for the children and students to go to camp and it was a wonderful night of fellowship and fun! Here are just a few pictures:








Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Love Day

Alright, so for the past several years I have called today- Single Awareness Day. However, I'm finally over that. Don't get to excited, I don't have some teddybear guy sweaping me off my feet. However, I'm confident in my Heavenly Father- knowing my heart's desire for a husband. When His time is right, it will happen. Until then he is reminding me over and over of His unfailing love for me. How could I ask for more than this?

Bible Verses on Love - God’s Love For Us For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. - Deuteronomy 7:9
For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. . . - Psalm 37:28
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. - Proverbs 8:17
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:9-11
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - 1 John 4:16
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. – 1 John 4:19-20
This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. - 1 John 3:10
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. - Matthew 6:24
So be very careful to love the LORD your God. - Joshua 23:11
I love you, O LORD, my strength. - Psalm 18:1
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' – Matthew 22:37-39
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:12-13
'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:18
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. – Proverbs 10:12

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

NINE GONE!


So you might have heard me celebrating and well, no it wasn't that! Greater things are yet to come, but not all at the same time! : ) I lost nine pounds this past week! Can I tell you how proud of myself I am. No it wasn't easy, but I faught through the emotional challenges and everything else and won---So now, I'm heading down to lose a lot more! I think I can do this, it wasn't easy but I did it and was very proud of myself. So thanks for the prayers, please keep them up. God has had one hand on my should wrapped around me and the other one over my mouth for more reasons than one! :) I give Him all the glory b/c I'm learning to escape to Him, rather than by myself- whatever I have in the refrig. (Mentional note: I have taped pictures before and after as well as scriptures all over the house: mirrors, refrig, inside refrig, closet, bathroom, you name it-I have one there or close)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Welcome Sweet Little Jackson


Jackson Carter Sims was born Thursday, February 29, 2009 at 3:42 pm 6 pounds, 6 ounces, 19 inches









Welcome Jackson--I promise you have the best parents ever, not to mention the best aunt Tiffy! Can't wait to play with you and give you lots of kisses and love. I'm praying for you buddy, and I'm glad you have wonderful family to help take care of you right now as your sweet daddy takes care of your wonderful momma. They will be okay and home sleeping with you soon!



Friends- please be in prayer not only for Jackson as he has enter this world and has so much ahead of him. But please also be in prayer for Lindsey and Hampton.
Please see the note below from Hampton's blog. This was all happened Thursday morning, and Hampton wrote this on Friday night. I have talked to them a couple of times each day and she is getting better. God is faithful and on His throne. Hampton and Lindsey and Jackson too---I love you! You're amazing and strong- hang in there! Let me just say it wasn't easy getting the phone call from Hampton one saying Jackson was born and I couldn't be there. I was so close but due to a car wreck on I-55 I was delayed until after 10pm and had to be at work the next morning and so turned around and came home. Then again getting the phone call Thursday a week later to the day, with a different tone in Hamptons voice. I can't wait to hug all of them, however until them I am bathing them in prayer and praising God for the work He is doing and the way He is holding them close.
Hampton's note:
Thursday morning was scary for us. We ended up in the emergency room at 4:30 AM, because Lindsey was losing lots of blood. After arriving in the ER, passing out in the bathroom, & being rolled down to the operating room, we found out that a blood vessel had ruptured and was pumping blood into her intestine. That was a pretty scary diagnosis. The solution was having the best doctors on the planet watching her, the doctors of Brookhaven Ob-Gyn, & the best nurses on the planet, the nurses of King's Daughters Medical Center, taking care of her.After surgery, lots of medicine, 2 units of transfused blood, & a lot of praying, she is going to be doing better. We should start to see some improvement sometime later today. I will be glad to see her feeling better. There are no words to describe how you feel when the one you love more than anyone else on earth is hurting.

Day by Day

Wow, I can't believe it's already February 7---It's been over fifteen days since my last post and goodness---they say time flies when you're having fun! So I guess that's what has happened, or something like that. I haven't really been able to put my thoughts and feelings in to words and so I've kinda hidden myself under everything trying to figure it all out. No luck with that. . . . .

So anyway- things to catch up on:



I posted the pictures of the trips and they were amazing! They took me out of the normal daily thoughts and made me challenge myself to come back.



Work has been unbelieviablly busy! We've added some large accounts but sadly lost a couple of employees so it's been very stressful getting everything done---I'm learning there really isn't enough time in a day to do it all. However we did go form 70+ tickets this week to 21. That is a huge accomplishment----when you not that it was really just two of us in the office. I'm proud and learning that's what matters.



Bible Study- I'm excited that I started a new Bible Study last Tuesday with Ressa. We're doing Nancy DeMoss' book on Holiness. It's been awesome and I'm excited about the next nine weeks. I know I will be challenged to be more Holy and live as Christ.



Church- Not sure what God is doing within for Dayspring. My heart is stired in a very complicated way and I can't figure it out. I'm very prayerful for the search commitment and the future of Dayspring but I don't know where I see myself. Praying through it all and hope to find peace soon.



Health- Well I started telling you about a journey for a new me at the beginning of the year. I was challenged by the book, "Are You Ready" and was very excited about the newness of the challenges ahead. So I started Monday with Medi and was very excited about it all. However it's now day six and I'm not giving up but I'm over the turkey and chicken considering that's all I've eaten and please note only 500 caleries of those a day. I go back Tuesday and really hope that I've lost some weight to encouragement to move forward. Between being sick after Celine and then going to OK , and then the changes for work I waiting until I started and so I'm calling Monday. I'm also doing the Biggest Loser Workout videos. Gotta love me some Bob Harper!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

OK City


So even though I didn't think I was going to make it home due to flight delays, I finally did! I am attaching a sheet of our pictures, we had a great time even though it was so very quick. We all flew in from Moss Point, Mobile, and Jacksonville for my grandmother's 80th birthday. We suprised her at dinner and it brought her to tears, she was so excited. We stayed at my aunt's new house that was so beautiful, and were able to enjoy dinner at two of the resteraunts that they own, which were wonderful. Loren and Meagan had a great time together playing- and were so cute with each other. It was such a quick trip, but it was great seeing them and being able to celebrate together.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Get me out of the airport!

Alright, so I'm sitting in another airport waiting again. DELAYS after Delays! Every flight so far has been delayed for a while, I'm hoping to make it home tonight. Through all this time, I've had much time to think about well let's just say a little of everything. Scary to think that I have only more time waiting and thinking until our next flight. So for future blogs ahead---be ready. Pray that everything that has been thought can be put into action. So from Atlanta airport- flying Delta I'm signing off--considering I bought an hour of internet for $15- WHAT was I thinking?
So much more coming soon!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sick week :(

Alright so after the concert we crashed in the hotel. Sunday Morning we woke up and were getting ready, Kristi had to catch the plane. So we saw her off and then Anna had text to see if we wanted to meet for breakfast. I was so excited, we got our showers, checked out of the hotel and then my parents dropped me off and they were going to find a place to park. I got us a table and everything and was talking with Anna and her mom, when my parents called back and said they had blocked off the roads for a marthon and they couldn't get back. :( So I ordered for them to go, and huged Anna and went to meet them so we go ahead and get on the road. We weren't in the car twenty minutes before I knew it wasn't going to be a good ride home. I was sick but then realized I was going to start throwing up. It was horrible! Needless to say, the ride home was a long one. When I finally got to my house and got a shower, I went straight to bed. I had missed Ava's first birthday party and was so upset but there was no way I could have made it. I emailed Tim and told him I wasn't going to be at work and then feel asleep. Monday, I was still sick and throwing up, I had a doctors appointment and it couldn't come fast enough. I got a shower and headed there only to wait forever! I love my doctor though so I guess it was worth the wait. After a shot, two presciptions later I was out of there. Now it's Tuesday afternoon I'm in bed, feeling somewhat better. I'm not throwing up so that's a plus, however I'm now having the hot flashes, swallon red face and side effects of the steriod shot. Yeah just what I always wanted another steriod shot---needless to say the diet has been down the hill with the weight loss challenge. I'm sure I've lost weight but not the way I had planned. I had to cancel yet again the 1 on 1 personal training that I rescheduled for this afternoon. I didn't even try to reschedule again because I leave or was planning on it Friday morning to to to OK City for my grandmother's 80th Birthday and then coming back Sunday. Then I have no clue what's in store for me at the office. So I will have to call back with that appointment. I hopeing though as much as I didn't want the steriods, b/c of the side effects and then also the weight gain it does good- it's only been five months since my sinus surgery and so my doctor was not excited that I had gotten this bad off this quick. He wants to schedule a scan to see if the growths are growing again in my sinuses and if so come up with a plan to stop them. Yeah---after 3 sinus surgeries I think that is a great idea. So anyway- we shall see from here. I'm just taking it easy today and resting.

My Heart Will Go On

Alright, here is a quick video that I took with my camera. I couldn't believe how well it turned out. When she went to the other side of the stage, (it was set in square and she walked around it) I went to the screen so you can see how close we were. It was beautiful!


video

The concert was amazing! We agreed that it was better than Vegas because it was really all about her. Yes there were dancers on some songs, she did a lot of cool video effects but it was her and not a production that is the same every night. The stage was amazing with the set up. It could do just about anything. It raised and lowered her, the band in different parts and then when you think it couldn't go any further, another part would raise her more. She changed into seven differnet dresses and shoes. She personalized it with talking about New Orleans and how she shot her first music video there. She talked about Hurricane Katrina and rebuilding the city and the lives there. She shared her heart between the songs which made it even more incridable. She was so incridable. The energy there was more than I have ever seen before anywhere. She poured everything she had into and it showed and was worth it.

Celine in New Orleans!

The day has finally come for us to see Celine again. My family and I went in 2003 to Las Vegas to see her and it was out of this world. So we were very excited when we found out she was coming to New Orleans on a Saturday night. We had the tickets and were ready to roll: Section 105, row 16, seats 2-5. I felt a little better but maybe it was b/c I was so heavely drugged I didn't feel much. :) We headed out my my parents house and drove to New Orleans. We meet my sister at the hotel, she flew in from Jacksonville. We went to lunch at Ruth's Chris and had an amazing time. A sweet couple that my parents are friends with meet us there. It was wonderful and let's just say in no way did I follow the Biggest Loser challenge there. :( However, it was wonderful! We went back to the hotel, b/c I was out of it and needed to recharge and so did my sister. So we took a long nap and then it was time to get ready for Celine. Woohooo.



Below are a few pictures from the concert. It started raining while we were walking over there so we look a little rough but oh well.















Catching up . . . . yet again . . .

Wow- I can't believe that I look at everyone's blog everyday and get frustrated when I know something is going on with them, but yet they don't update it. Ha ha ha ha! Wait, I don't update mine all the time either. Anyway, so here is the update on the Biggest Loser Challenge with myself. It started of great Monday and Tuesday- I won the battle of knowing I'm an emotional eater, claiming it and moving past it. Several times throughout both days were challenged but I overcame it. I ate salads and yogart and chicken and was so proud of myself. I might want to add that I took time for myself both days. I relaxed and even watched TV. (You're talking to the person who plugged the TV back in just a few weeks ago from having it unplugged from the hurricane) I watched the Bachelor Monday night and really laughed a lot at how crazy the girls were. I can't imagine throwing myself out there like that--however, if I looked like they did, which I will soon- I guess I would handle myself differently. Tuesday night I watched the Biggest Loser on TV. It was a wonderful motivation for me. I saw girls my size on national TV standing boldly saying they wanted to make a difference to there lives. Everyone on the show had an amazing start losing so much weight only in one week. They worked out hard and were proud of themselves at the weigh in. It was very encouraging to me to push myself harder.

Wednesday rolled around and the the world fell apart at work. From an outage that morning stress levels were very high, several meetings and frustrations caused me to work from 6am-7pm. It was such a long day, the last thing I wanted was to be oncall, however on a positive note, I had been on already 8 days and it hadn't been bad, I only had two days left . Due to the outage I knew there was noway I was going to make it out for my training. I was very bummed but I want to show I'm a team player. Plus I needed to be at the office handling things otherwise I would have gotten all of those calls while training and that wouldn't have worked either. So oh well, I cancelled it and moved past it. I was very discouraged that I didn't keep it but reminded myself that things do happen. Even my boyfriend Bob in the book says those things happen. So I made it through the day of work. Jennifer and I have been trying to get together for a while, just to hang out and catch up. She was able to come over and it was wonderful just to be able to sit down and talk with her. I'm so proud of her as she is really pushing forward, meeting her goals with her personal life and within her job. It was a very nice calm ending to a crazy day.
Thursday morning, I woke up and just wasn't feeling right, my friend Ressa called and ask if we could do lunch, I was so excited and we went to Big Time---which I was a good girl and had tuna and a salad. It was a great time to catch up. Ressa lead a Bible Study when I was in the college group and her and her husband Keith were also our Sunday School teachers. They are an amazing Godly couple would I love and respect so much. It's always a pleasure to spend time with her and encourage and love each other. After lunch, I felt worse and by the time 4 o'clock came I was out of it-- my voice was barley hanging on and I felt horrible. I ran to Baby'R'us because to get Hampton and Lindsey the stroller for Jackson Carter who should be coming soon and then came home and seriously was in bed by 5:30. Thankfully I didn't have any calls for on call, because I was out.
Friday rolled around and goodness, as a co-worker Tracy said I showed I was sick through my eyes. As much as I try, I can't hide it. I worked through the day, and then ran to my parents when I got off b/c we were suppost to be leaving for Celine tomorrow!!! Woohooo---only a day left. Again I was in the bed by 7pm. I have say that I really don't remember what I ate those two days I was sick and really didn't care, I was just focused on getting in the bed. I just remember thinking I wasn't very proud of myself. :(

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Here I come . . .


Today is the big day, we have been waiting and excited about today for a while now. We are about to leave my parent's house to pick up my sister from the airport and spead the rest of the weekend in New Orleans. The concert is tonight and I'm so excited. I've been sick for the past three days, and gone to bed between 5:30-7 in hopes lots of rest would make it go away. Well, my plan didn't so much work but I'm getting better. Thanks for the prayers. Please pray that Kristi is safe and smart as she travels- this is really pushing it for her and of course I'm worried. We didn't think about the time frame when we bought her ticket and of course we weren't going to go without her. Anyway, I also hope to meet up with my friend Anna tonight. She is going with her mom and we're trouble together! So New Orleans or better yet Celine- here I come!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Are You Ready?

I'm on a new journey, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I have this attitude of New Year, New Me, it's a step forward from Looking Back, Moving Forward! I don't want to look back anymore right now and that has been my though for the past couple of days. I want to press hard forward. New Year, New Me 2009 I want to be completly new! No, I maybe can't buy a new car, or get a new house, or other things I can't mention but my attitude is going to be NEW! Lastnight as I was running through trying to get several things off the list done, I ran in Target to get a Christmas tree box, why I ended up in books- I don't know, who looks at books at Target? Anyway, Bob Harper's book, "Are you Ready" was on sale. Works for me as I picked it up and put it in the basket, call me crazy but I didn't even look at it. I'm preparing myself for Monday, as I start my own Biggest Loser challenge. I've geared myself up: printing off before and after pictures of others, logo, and Bible verse and put all over the house and car to motivate me. I'm gearing up in my mind too. I called Friday a personal trainer that does it 1 on 1, close to my house and then also called Medi weight loss clinic and got an appointment to start there. I have to gain myself back. So anyway, all that being said, I started reading this book lastnight and it's one of those tough books,you read get frustrated put down, and then have to go back too. Today I found myself doing that a couple of times as well. Little did I know I would be a quarter of the way through the book and thinking like I was. I wish with everything I had I had Bob here. He has taken it to another level. I know I am very much an emtional eater: when I'm happy- it's time to celebrate, when I am angry it's my comfort, when I'm upset it's there. I don't use it for nutrition but for comfort and escape- I guess that's why I've put on so much weight in the past couple of months. Yes, I gained alot of weight b/c of months and months of steriods over now years between all the surgeries but I've added even more emotionally eating. I can't imagine Bob asking in person b/c I lost in just through the book, but he said the truth people know right from wrong we learn at a young age, we know what is good for us and what is bad. However, there is something in the background of our minds that might keep us from doing it b/c it makes us feel good. Well I have packed myself with feeling good to another level of I'm two people. However, while I feel good for that moment, I can't look into the mirror. I can set my mind up to do the right thing but when that frustrating and anger comes- which we know how quickly that will come what am I go to do? I have to face it for several reasons. I have to one speak and say that I'm better than that situation and I'm not going to let that situation or person rule over me and win. I'm very scared but almost excited b/c it's not just me wanting to lose weight, but I have to gain the confidence I lost in myself. I have to win myself back and prove I can do it so that confidence will flow over to other areas of myself. After all, if I haven't taken myself seriously, how can I expect anyone else too. Same thing with respect, I don't respect myself and therefore, respect isn't alwasy given to me. It's my fault and it's changing! Watch out---here I come! Please keep me accountable, and even more please pray this starts with my heart and works out.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Christmas Pictures 2008
















Looking Back and Moving Forward


Looking Back and Moving Forward “2008 was Packed for a Purpose– 2009!”


I’m learning that we were born prepackaged. God looks at our entire life, determines our assignment, and gives the tools to do the job. Before traveling, you do something similar. You consider the demands of the journey and pack accordingly. Cold weather? Bring a jacket. Business meeting? Carry the laptop. God does the same things with us. Some will research and build…install curiosity and determination. Others will teach and lead children and youth ….. extra dose of management, compassion and patience. God has packed each of us for a purpose. In 2008, I believe God has packed a lot of things in me that I didn’t have before. I’ve been challenged and turning around to be change in preparation for my job in 2009.
This year was packed in many ways: Let’s go over a few:
Weddings: Julie and Zack Adamson, Taylor and Lindsey McCall, Matt and Lauren Zwitt, Renewal for Wendy and John McKinney, Taris and Corey Moorman, and Sandy and George Nelson.
Births: Ava Parker, Cochran Quads– (Lauren, Avery, Gunner, Cannon), and Natalie Duncan
Deaths: George Leggett, John Murray, and Mike Blaylock
Moves: Johnson Family, Payne Family, Hughes Family
All of these things have been packed into the daily life of the past 365 days, whew I’m tired! However that isn’t all, God had this year packed with his comfort as he has continued to hold my hand through breast surgery, sinus surgery (both which opened other doors like a heart mummer and testing), a mass on my ovaries, a nerve block, and continued physical therapy for my neck. I also can’t forget His grace through Kristi’s heart surgery as well as mom and dad’s procedures. This year has been busy! Yet, still there is more! He has secured us while we have traveled through the year and through the nation, while Brandy and I traveled to PA, and then to New York for an amazing get away, then there were the trips to Brookhaven to see Hampton and Lindsey, trips to Pinelake, FCA camp, concerts and meetings with David Nasser and then Casting Crowns. Alright maybe now I have everything packed for the year: oh wait I forget two key things: Callis and Dayspring! How could I ever forget the main thing that was packed along with the blackberry, on call, and laptop. God has packed a lot into the past two and a half years while I have been at Callis- He is moving a lot of people on now and they are traveling with a lighter load, while I’m still learning and gaining my skills. Dayspring is almost the same way, God has shown up and moved people on to further His work in other places. I’m very sadden by the loss but so proud to see the work God is doing in and through them at the different places they are serving now. All of these things were packed in 2008 to prepare me for the changes ahead in 2009. It’s going to be an awesome year! I’m ready– I can’t do it alone and God’s still going to be packing things in me, however, I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready for my job in Him and to fulfill my purpose.

Lameypalooza 2008

Great friends come together again! Moss Point might not be very far away neither are good friends. Even though we are spread throughout the nation, we gather together once a year to celebrate life. We graduated high school six years ago and this will be our fourth annual Lameypalooza at my apartment. I don't know where the name came from, but whatever they named it! It was a great night with a few of my close friends from high school. It's awesome how we can gather after such a long time apart and still laugh and make fun of each other from stuff forever ago,,,,,needless to say I might not remember all of the things or people but the ones I do are the ones who matter. We are all going separate ways and I'm so proud of our class. Out of our core group, we will have several doctors, a physical therapist, a couple of lawyers, counselors, and everything else you can imagine. It's cool to see the people who have gotten married, had children already, and what they are doing. We were also sadden to see how many of my classmates took a different path. Some aren't meeting there potential, several I learned are doing serious drugs, some are in jail for life for the choices they made, and then others have lost there life. As we came together I was full of mixed emotions. I was so excited to see everyone but felt very different. It hit me very hard that I'm not were I'm needing to be. I'm not proud of myself and what I'm doing. Everyone was talking about what they are giving back and I just kinda looked at my hands and realized how they were turned toward myself. I'm not giving back. I haven't reached my highest level, I'm not doing what I'm suppost to be doing. I vowed then with my friend Matt- that things were going to change. I need to raise the bar in my life: I need to get my Master's Degree, I need to lose the weight, I need to give back and spend time helping children, I need to further myself in other ways instead of being miserable. These things might seem to be about me---but they will help me in the long run to give back at a higher level. Lameypalooza 2008 will never be forgotten with me. I am hoping it is pride in a good way but I felt it wasn't said, but that people even these being some of my close friends wanted to tell me I wasn't meeting greatest potential and they would have been correct. However---today is a new day! I have filled out more applications for my master's. I have signed up for a weigh loss program, I'm detoxing myself from "life" ----NO- not drugs or alcohol! Watch out 2009 here I come!