Reflecting

Reflecting is something that is always done differnetly. Sometimes a reflection of a sunset in the water is something that is breathtaking and priceless! Reflecting back to this time last year is very challenging but it's history.

My sweet neice told me yesterday, that Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that's why it's called the present. So true! As today ends November, I am realizing that we only have a month left in 2008! Wow- this year has flown by---but I have heard times flies when your having fun--- so I guess that is what this is??? Maybe not! So I went back and was reading my journel from this time last year and was blown away. I had just had the breast surgery and was waiting for results. God was faithful in the midst of that. I was waiting and working with my friend David on a project for the future, and even though it's even hard for me to see now-God was faithful. I was trying to finish up the stuff before the new year, just as I am doing now as well as writing goals and plans for the next year. Wow- it's hard to think about the future sometimes. I'm amazed to think about the changes in the past twelve months within my life, my church, and my job. WOW!

Ideas and thoughts have changed! People have changed. However, I'm glad I can say that my God hasn't changed. He's been forever faithful- even when I haven't been. He has been comforting, when I have been a mess. He has held my hand through a lot this year and I know will continue to guide me. It isn't always easy to reflect, but I often find it needed in my life. I need to see in what ways I've grown and how far I've come but always in what ways I have lacked trusting and persuing and what things I still struggle with that I did last year. Might not be so hard to figure out--but God is faithful. I know he has a plan. I know I'm going to look back one day and say just like I did with this picture that what He has done in my life makes me speechless. He is the Healer of all- phyiscal, emotional, mental, and spiritual. I will reflect again and be able to hopefully see how everything I stuggle with now will no longer be a mystery but pure history that I can completely put in the past. So we shall see . . . . . .now for the next thirty days----I got to get busy!

Finally something normal

Yes, I will be 25 years old in a week, however I do love going to this toy store. I remember every year after Thanksgiving, my mom took me get a doll or at least pick it out for Santa. Oh the memories of this place, it is the coolest toy store ever, because they don't have just everyday toys you can get anywhere they are special toys and dolls. I can remember the smells and the feelings of going back in the doll room and everything when I was little. Most of my Karen's came from here----we have memories from this place! Anyway, I can't wait to take my children here, but until that time I enjoy going with Meagan. Of course Oogie loves it as well-----Meagan today got to leave with a purple barn and several barn animals----that are oh so cute and full of noises and sounds of all kinds. 

Thanksgiving Prep

It sure takes a lot to get ready for a day: in a normal day to go to work--prep time includes shower, makeup, rolling hair, getting dressed, making bed and leaving house by 6:40am. Prep for a family or friends coming includes looking nice, but also having the house look nice too, and maybe even something to eat or drink in the refrig. Thanksgiving or holiday prep is another story: baseboards have to be cleaned, every cm of the house has to be spotless, if you're a Lamey you might even paint a few bedrooms or even a garage, buy a bed,  relandscape, buy enough food for an army, rent movies for a year, get enough supplies for Lamey craft time, and make sure you have pictures and gifts that everyone has given you out of the closet or the dump in just that right spot so they can see it. :) You see that takes a lot of work, energy, money and time. Granted things might look amazing, everyone might have everything they ever thought about craving, watching, or doing but something is still missing. Yeah the driveway and yard are full of cars all sizes and colors, bikes, golfcarts, etc but a few are missing, which just doesn't make it the same. Grammy, Mike, Lisa, and Loren at the last minute couldn't come. :( We're bumbed b/c we have looked forward to it for so long. 

So the paint might still be wet, and the new bed might have just been delivered but in the grand canvas of it all: it doesn't matter. The point is to be thankful and spend the time close friends and family. Things might be challenging, and things change but wow we still have so much to be thankful for. I pray that everyone including myself doesn't get too busy in the prep that we loose focus on the time together, our many blessings and even the things like amazing sunsets. 

Happy Early Thanksgiving!

My wall

Sorry for the delay in post, my world has been upside and all around. Things are very very busy! It's always that way around the holidays. I'm still in physical therapy, and getting back fully in the swing after Thanksgiving. I had a break b/c of the injections, which didn't work! Yes, I'm upset, so I'm just going to keep going because I don't know what the next step is going to be. So anyway, the week has been busy with work, some physical therapy, different activites at the church, and then sleeping so I don't get sick.

Friday night, Dayspring Women's had a Sister 2 Sister event; it as a follow up from the retreat I shared about a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, one of the ladies, Lynn shared her story and it was amazing to see the freedom she has in Christ. I've talked a lot about freedom here but I think it's two part, which I was sharing with someone this morning at work. As I accepted Christ, I became a new Creation in Him- freedom was given at the moment from the sin that held me. However, now as I am walking in my faith, a wall has been built that I still struggled to be freedom from. Yes, I am a Christian but yes I still struggle. I'm real and face real things. Sometimes I don't act all real, I put on a sunshine face, when that is the furthest thing from the truth. I build the wall: my actions, my thoughts, my desires, my behaviors, and habits. My life is just like this picture: a brick wall is all around and I can see a tiny santuary of freedom. I want that to be my home. But yet I have to chip away peice by piece the bricks of bitterness, frustration, dissapointment, hurt, betrayl, pain, loneliness, etc. away. I have to fully depend on Christ to be my everything. I'm thankful that I can see what my bricks are and give those to Christ for him to fix, as I know I can't fix them on my own.

Baby Steps to a New Me

Alright Friends: I'm slowly learning, I'm learnging that my worth is not in my name, who my family is or what they did, what job I have, or what church I go to.



I was reading an article and blog from Dan Miller, which brough these points.

You were created to house the fullness of God. Seeing ourselves in the light of who God made us to be is both exciting and contagious.

I am having to change the way I see myself and how I let others see me as well.
It's been challenging to do, but I know it will be w ell worth it.
So, are you housing the fullness of God today?
While I have been full of despair and hopelessness because of the current situations, there wasn't room for much else.
While I was angry and resentful with others, people noticed and I wasn't housing and catering to the fullness of God first.

I'm taking on the challenge of realizing and reminding myself and others that, I was created to house the fullness of God. My life takes on a different meaning and purpose and that is worth it all.

Admitting

Well it's me again, struggling with the same thing I did forever ago. I have a problem with fear! They say the first step to healing is admitting the problem. I'm fearful! Crazy thing: I'm not afraid of what normal people are afraid of: snakes, heights, or death. No, I don't like them but oh well, I can't do anything about it. I am realizing that it's the same thing with my fear. I have an extreme fear of letting people down. How stupid is that? I allow the fear to control me: my words, actions, direction and being. It is no different that a person who won't rise to see the peak of the mountain top because they are afraid of heights. I'm the same way, I'm believe that if I allowed God to be God and not worry or fear things of this world, I would see everything from the mountain top view. Instead of feasting on His glory; I fest on the worry and stress of others. On another level: I'm also realizing that I can't control world peace, the government, economy, the actions of others with church or even my job. I can only let God be God, and live to glorify Him- not others. Hopefully when I have my hands wrapped around this concept, I'm be able to move on and past it.

Jesus spoke the Word of God throughout his ministry. When faced with the devil's lies and temptations, he countered with the truth of God's Word. The spoken Word of God is like a living, powerful sword in our mouths (Hebrews 4:12), and if Jesus depended upon it to face challenges in life, so can we. I needed the encouragement from God's Word to overcome my fears, take strength from these fear-busting Bible verses about courage.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (NKJV)
Joshua 1:3-9 I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you ... No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.
“Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (NLT)
1 Chronicles 28:20 David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. (NIV)
Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (NKJV)
Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? (NIV)
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (NIV)
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (NIV)
Isaiah 54:4 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. (NKJV)
Matthew 10:26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. (NKJV)
Matthew 10:28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (NKJV)
Romans 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. (KJV)
1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. (NIV)
2 Corinthians 4:7-11 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. (NIV)
Philippians 1:12-14 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly. (NIV)
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (NLT)
Hebrews 13:5-6 For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (NKJV)
1 Peter 3:13-14 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." (NIV)
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (NIV)

Lesson Learned

Today I learned a lesson the hard way----You can guess where this is going but let me tell you about it anyway so you can go ahead and get a good laugh. So today I had my friend's sisters wedding: They had ask me to be the photographer for the wedding and I was so excited. I got up, did a couple of things and then was ready to head ot my parents and then go on over. Well, I load up the car, and go to crank, and it wouldn't turn over it. I kept trying, getting more and more frustrated and then realized that I saw the gas light. HELLO DUMMY! The gas light had come on but I hate getting gas: I'm always in my car either during 1. I'm on kmy way to work with no time or 2. It's late at night like lastnight when it isn't safe to stop. So I'm out of gas, have to be in MS and have myself in big mess. I live in an apartment so it's not like I have gas cans just laying around. I had to laugh at myself, b/c I am the crazy one who put myself in the situation. So within several paniced phone calls, I had Amanda bring me one of her dad's gas cans. Let's do the math- I have a 18 gallon tank, she brought me 3 gallons straight. I went straight from the apartment to the gas station which is less than a half of milw and put in 17.8 gallons. I thinkI was beyond out of gas. I'm very thankful that's all it was. I'm thankful for Amanda bringing me gas, I hated asking but I had gone through techs and others. Anyway----I'll tell about the wedding later, I just thought it was an intresting way to start the day.

Be Still

Be still are the words I have heard several times lately: in my walk with God, from my friends, family and even from doctors.

I had the injections done Wednesday for my neck and it's been intresting. I am very very sore and even more frustrated b/c it didn't work. I'm hoping the limits I have right now are going to wear off, b/c it's going to be upsetting if not. I can hardly move and if I push it, it takes my breath away in a scary way. What a nightmare! Anyway- I'm trying to be still but it isn't the easiest thing to do in any way.

However, it is awesome knowing that God is God and I'm not! It's awsome knowing in the frustrating, overwhelming and painful moments that He is the Great, "I Am."

Right now, I'm trying to just be still. Let me say with my schedule it isn't easy and now that I'm back on call this week it's even more difficult however, I'm having some Be Still time for myself. I'm being still to HEAL- physcially, emotionally, metional, and spiritually. It's going to take some time, but I'm ready and have realized. . . . .I'm not going to be able to get over any limitations until I take the time to Be Still in any area of my life.

Every Day Deserves a Chance

"Doesn't every day deserve a chance to be a good day? An opportunity? A shot? A tryout? An audition? A swing at the plate? After all: "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." But what of those days when traffic snarls, airports close, friends forget, and co-workers complain? Or surgery days, tax days, voting days, losing days, even days when the cemetery dirt is still fresh?

In "Every Day Deserves a Chance" Max Lucado unpacks Jesus' delightful formula for upgrading each day as a blue ribbon status: saturate your day in Jesus' grace; entrust your day to His oversight; accept His direction. Grace. Oversight. Direction. G-O-D. The perfect prescription for filling your day with divine power and giving every day a chance."

1 Chronicles 29:11-12"David blessed God in full view of the entire congregation: Blessed are you, God of Israel, our father from of old and forever. To you, O God, belong the greatness and the might, the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor; Yes! Everything in heaven, everything on earth; the kingdom all yours! You've raised yourself high over all. Riches and glory come from you, you're ruler over all; You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand to build up and strengthen all. And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you, praising your splendid Name. "

To many times lately- I have just wanted pull the sheets over my head and say not today Lord- Please not today! I don't want to get out the bed, I don't want to face this issue or deal with this. However, through some amazing friends I'm reminded that God's grace is new every morning and that every day deserves a chance for me to give God Glory in someway! So this is the day that the Lord has made and through the good and bad, through rough days at work and good days, through elections, through etc----I will rejoice in it as I know He is in control!

Please continue to pray things are going to be changing daily over the next several weeks and I will need to be reminded of this. Thanks for the prayers, love and support! I love ya'll!

Road Ended

Today is another one of those days, I have been traveling down this road and all of the sudden came to the end. I can't take a left or right and it doesn't split. Just a sign saying road ended. I can't see anything past it, but I know that God can. I hate not having a clue what's past it. I'm backing up because I think several miles back there were a couple of turns or forks, I could have taken, they might be different now though.

Nonetheless, whatever road this is that I'm on (have I mentioned that I don't like it) is the one that I'm on for some reason that I don't know either. However I'll putting everything I have into something more than me----My arms are spread wide open Lord. Please show me the greater things that are to come.

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here
You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You Are
You're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this cityGreater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here